Well....I guess most of you have been curious and for some of you who does not know me well actually will keep asking me this question. Are you local? Are you chinese or malay or mix? Are you this are you that etc....
So I guess is just fair for me to explaine it here and so next time you meet me you don't need to and question me lor...and also to let you know a lil about my complicated background of growing up life.
Basically, I would consider myself as chinese no matter how dark my skin tone ar. Well, actuallly not that dark also la my skin, just in between a malay and indian skin tone. So, sometimes people would thought I'm a mix chinese. Hahaha....okok...I grew up basically in a chinese family since a baby, let skip the baby growing up time. Partically at 10, during an so called abusement from my mum, she was so angry and she just blabbed out that I was not her child and I was picked up from a dump or something. Being already 10, and knowing such things, I began to feel the hatred for her growing in me, because I can't accept the fact of the truth...I keep saying she was lying to me and she said is true. So, fine for that, on that night, I began to have the thought of running
away from home and even really planned for it...ironic right?? But to tell you, by morning come,
I have no idea where I should go at all. So forget bout it and I stayed back and suffer on what I had been suffering.
At the age of 12, I was abused quite badly and also got beaten up quite badly, and this come to the attention of my cousin sister who had left her baby girl under the care of my mother and she immediately reported it to our youngest uncle who actually love me very much. This causes much anger to him and something which we will never thought one would do agaisnt immediate family members would do....and so to cut the stories short at 12, I was send off to orphanage home and after was there for about a months, a good samaritans came and wanted to take me in as their own daughter even thought they themself have a daughter around my age. Thought both of us were never close until the time we left highschool, due to different timing and activities we had and different road journey to head too, slowly, time pull us together and we eventually learned to treasure each other more than anything. I love you Esther, eventhough sometimes you are irritating but whenever you are not around now, I really misses those time where we used to argue, where you used to irritate me just for the fun of it....I misses those time very much....
Yea,....so now, we had grow up, more responsible and independent to face the world outside on our own. No more moments of daddy and mummy to hold your hand and walk but time to learn and be independant on ourself. To achieve what we want in life, to have a good future, at times I do wonder would I be successful and be what I want in times to come? Would I be able to be who I want to be? Anyhow, I never stop walking ahead saying to myself I can do it no matter what happen. With patient, encouragement, support and love, I will never let anyone down.
The once me used to be a person who always dwell back on my past, but not until when I met with a few good friends who never stop to keep encouraging me...Thanks! I guess I just had to stop her now and continue with part 2 later on , see ya!
ROARRRRRRRRRRRRR.............
ReplyDeletePrince Valen is back to create some chaos in UR LIFE...
Better RUN before it's too late !!! hehe
Val
haha...then princesee Sharmie will RUN as far as she can yeah...
ReplyDeletehehe
I love you Esther, eventhough sometimes you are irritating! <<< hahaha this is funny.
ReplyDeleteeh, i still hold my mummy's hand to walk across the street okay!